my epistemological and ontological stance....WHAAAATTTT!!!???!!

In September last year I was awarded the prestigious SANPAD-RCI (South African-Netherlands Programme for Advanced Development- Research Capacity Initiative) where I required to attend six, one-week research modules in South Africa.

In a recent module, I realised that the process of a PhD journey is not only a lonely place, but also a dark place where the only way of illuminating the space is to constantly generate deeper meaning and understanding of your research. However...the more I read in an attempt to generate knowledge, the less I understand. This then begs the question regarding my epistomological and ontological stance. Seemingly, a clear understanding of whether you're an idealist, realist, critical realist, post-positivist etc etc and whether you're a positivist or an interpretivist is a norm within academic circles. 

This is where I hit a snag. I have no idea how to position myself!!

So as I am trying to enlighten my mind as to MY epistemological and ontological stance, the reality remains that I am still standing my really really dark place as to where I position myself with regard to my research stance. Am I being bogged down by terminology (that in my opinion probably arises from pre-modern discourse)?

The very novice and amateur researcher in me is screaming at me to get a grip!! Not a grip over myself, but a grip on these terminologies.  How can I possible become a serious academic if I am not to have a clear understanding of these (vague and often conflicting) terms?

What is clear right now is that nothing is clear ;-)