my epistemological and ontological stance....WHAAAATTTT!!!???!!

In September last year I was awarded the prestigious SANPAD-RCI (South African-Netherlands Programme for Advanced Development- Research Capacity Initiative) where I required to attend six, one-week research modules in South Africa.

In a recent module, I realised that the process of a PhD journey is not only a lonely place, but also a dark place where the only way of illuminating the space is to constantly generate deeper meaning and understanding of your research. However...the more I read in an attempt to generate knowledge, the less I understand. This then begs the question regarding my epistomological and ontological stance. Seemingly, a clear understanding of whether you're an idealist, realist, critical realist, post-positivist etc etc and whether you're a positivist or an interpretivist is a norm within academic circles. 

This is where I hit a snag. I have no idea how to position myself!!

So as I am trying to enlighten my mind as to MY epistemological and ontological stance, the reality remains that I am still standing my really really dark place as to where I position myself with regard to my research stance. Am I being bogged down by terminology (that in my opinion probably arises from pre-modern discourse)?

The very novice and amateur researcher in me is screaming at me to get a grip!! Not a grip over myself, but a grip on these terminologies.  How can I possible become a serious academic if I am not to have a clear understanding of these (vague and often conflicting) terms?

What is clear right now is that nothing is clear ;-)

The journey continues

So my proposal has been submitted and I eagerly await feedback from the powers that be. I hope that it’s passable at least.

I have to say, the proposal journey is quite something. What should have taken me 6 months, in actual fact took me about 7.5 months. That is quite a lag for a proposal. This is coupled with many things, one of them being my inability to get things to my supervisor in due time, keeping in mind that he was on sabbatical anyway. In addition, I realised that I exercise way too much self doubt…I soooo need to get over that!

One cool thing that came from the proposal writing stages is that I was placed onto the SANPAD programme. For those who don’t know what SANPAD is, it is a research capacity initiative from the South African and Netherlands Partnership for Advanced Development (SANPAD). It is an awesome and world renowned programme aimed at getting people through their PhD’s in at least 3 years. I am so grateful for this opportunity and feel abundantly blessed by God’s love every time I sit in one of the modules in this course, and in case you’re wondering…Yes I will be sharing my the knowledge gained on this programme with whoever can benefit from it. Naturally, I have made some really wonderful friends and met some truly remarkable people on this journey this far, each with their own tale to tell. I cannot tell their tales, but I can tell and live in mine. This is going to be one exciting ride.

Onwards and Upwards.